What About Him?
by ShadoWolfDemon
Summary: Syaoran couldn’t help it; he was beyond upset. Today was THAT day for him, and a day he loathed so much, he couldn’t help but crumble the parchment as he clenched his fist together. Sakura frowned. Something was definitely wrong. SxS if you squint.
1. What About Him?

**A/N: I know I haven't posted in forever. Sorry that this is only a depressing one-shot. **

**UPDATE (4/18/09): REVISED!**

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**What About Him?**

**By Shadow**

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It was obvious from the moment he walked into school that morning that something was horribly wrong with him. The air about him seemed to be heavy, and he himself had his shoulders sagged. Usually, the young auburn-eyed boy was carrying himself proudly, confidently. It was one of the many things that one could admire about the boy aside from his uniquely attractive looks. Heads turned to the young boy, questioning just who was emitting such a powerful sadness.

Quietly, Syaoran sat down at his desk, ignoring the eyes that followed him. He pulled a pencil out from behind his ear, and clicking the eraser against the desk repetitively, and a few of the less caring students shrugged their shoulders, and continued to talk amongst themselves about the happenings of the night before. Syaoran couldn't relate, for his night had been filled with angry and depressing thoughts. He remembered himself running up the stairs, and slamming his door, safe from his family's talk about a person he loathed with all his heart; and not just talking about that person, _praising_ that person.

A few heads turned back towards the boy, some with looks of concern about their eyes, and others laughing at him for whatever cruel reason they could think of. Syaoran sank down into his seat more, and continued to shut out the glances of his friends, and aquaintences. They couldn't understand. None of them knew the half of it, and the rest of them just didn't give a damn about how he felt.

The bell rang.

Syaoran shifted slightly in his seat, so he could see the board, but his eyes didn't want to read anything, nor did his brain want to retain thoughts. The teacher walked in, and immediately started writing some drabble on the chalkboard which Syaoran tried to copy, but failed about one sentence in, only to come back into reality and desperately try to catch up. Finally, he stopped taking notes all together, and just stared in the general direction of the class lesson....

That is, until someone came bursting through the door. She was just a few minutes late as usual.

"Excuse me!" she shouted as she rushed to her desk just beside the man of the hour. This of course, was Sakura, Syaoran's best friend for many years, but even the normal activities of Syaoran's buddy couldn't cheer him up. He didn't even seem to notice as she barged in. Another classmate, and coinsidentally Sakura's cousin, stared at the aubern eyed boy, and then turned to greet Sakura.

"There's something up with Syaoran," she whispered to Sakura as the girl sat down. Syaoran suddenly snapped back into reality, and glared at Tomoyo; but what could he expect really? She was too observant for her own damn good.

Tomoyo smiled kindly, if not a bit nervously at Syaoran's fiery glare, and sat back in her seat. Syaoran turned back to the board, crossing his arms and pretending to listen to the teacher. The truth was, there was no way he could focus on a day like today.

Today was…

Syaoran sighed, returning to tapping his pencil. Sakura frowned at him for a moment, and then turned back to her work… or at least that was what Syaoran thought.

The next thing he knew, a note was passed to his desk. He stared at it for awhile, questioning what it was. Not only was he in a bad state of mind, but apparently, the poor teen was out of it. Sakura frowned deeper as she looked at him from the corner of her eyes.

Finally, the young boy opened the letter. His eyes gazed over the two words written in red ink:

_What's wrong?_

Was all that it said.

Syaoran couldn't help it, he was beyond upset. Today was _that_ day for him, and a day he loathed so much, he couldn't help but crumble the parchment as he clenched his fist together. His face started to turn crimson in agony as he struggled to hold back emotions.

Eventually, he couldn't take it anymore, and he stood up, his eyes shrouded by his bangs.

"Can I be excused?" he said, interrupting the teacher completely. The teacher stopped mid-sentence, and turned to him, worry clouding his usually enthusiastic eyes. He looked over the boy one time, and knew something was very wrong.

"Of course Syaoran," he replied.

The brown haired boy mumbled a word of thanks and walked out of the room with his things. The piece of paper was left on his desk with a reply.

_He's dead._

***

"I don't understand," Sakura said, showing the paper to Tomoyo and her circle of friends. "Who's this _he_?"

"Maybe he has a _boyfriend_," Naoko suggested. Sakura cringed, thinking of Yukito for only half a moment. Now _that_ would be awkward, though, she did remember that they used to run around after the poor boy, completely infatuated with him. Still, that didn't seem to fit Syaoran's boat too well, and if Yuki was dead, Sakura would know.

He was Toya's boyfriend after all.

"I highly doubt that," Sakura finally replied, staring at Naoko sternly. This was serious. Something was actually bothering him.

"We've never seen him so upset," Tomoyo explained, wiping Naoko's grin off completely. Sakura frowned again, causing everyone to look at her, concerned. The girl rarely, if never, frowned at anything. Whatever was eating away at Syaoran was bothering her almost as much as it was bothering him.

"Come to think of it," Yamazaki piped, gaining the eyes of everyone around him. "I remember Syaoran saying something about someone being dead last year too… he said it was a family member."

Sakura looked up at the boy, checking to see if it was one of his many lies. It could have been, but for once, Yamazaki looked as serious as the rest of them. It seemed that the boy was concerned for Syaoran as much as Sakura was. Silently, Sakura wondered when those two became such good friends, or if Syaoran put her on nearly the same level.

But that wasn't important right now. What was important was helping Syaoran. Sakura went into deep thought: knowing Syaoran, he wouldn't be willing to open up to her about something this big. As much as she hated to do it, she would have to do a little snooping around.

"Okay, I know exactly who to ask," Sakura announced, jumping up. "See you guys later!"

***

"Meilin!" a voice shouted. The girl who had been called upon stopped her martial arts routine and looked at the figure running towards her. Normally, she would have smiled… but she already knew why Sakura was there, and what made matters worse....

"I've had enough practice for today," Syaoran said solemnly, watching Sakura run towards him and his cousin for a moment. "You can talk with her… I'm out."

With that, Syaoran retreated over the fence of the school, taking off at a run towards who-knows-where. Sakura barely made it in time to see him disapeer in the distance.

"He's really upset huh," Sakura stated, staring after him with the utmost concern. Meilin sighed, and placed a hand on Sakura's shoulder. The emerald eyed girl looked back at Meilin with a sad smile, happy to have her as a friend as well, but then returned her gaze to where Syaoran had left.

"Sakura, this is something you may not want to get involved with. There's a reason Syaoran doesn't want to say it to anyone... its a personal family issue."

Sakura stared up a Meilin, stepping back so the other female could see the determination in her eyes. Maybe it wasn't any of her buisness, but since Syaoran was as down as he was, she felt that she really should at least _try_ to help. She couldn't bring back the dead or anything, but she could try to cheer him up. Besides, she also had had family members die.

"Syaoran is my best friend. I have to help him."

Meilin's expression didn't change, but she continued to speak: "Then you should talk to him about it. I'm not going to get into the death of his father."

Sakura's eyes widened, and her heart jumped. Syaoran's father? Dead?

For a half a moment, Sakura imagined what it would be like to never see her father's loving face again. The image in itself made Sakura want to cry her heart out. She loved her father with all her heart. He and Toya were all she had….

***

Syaoran sat at the swings in the park, kicking sand about below him as he swayed ever so slightly in the seat.

"How could you?" he muttered to himself. His fist tightened around the chain on the swing so much that his knuckles turned white. He brought his other arm to his face and wiped his eyes. Two small wet spots stained his sleeves.

_I promised I would never cry for you, so why am I?_ he thought, his face turning red even though no one was around.

He clenched his teeth, holding back the urge to continue spilling tears, and then he let out a howl of frustration, standing up and pushing the swing away from him. He walked over to a tree, and proceeded to kick it; practicing his martial arts form would clear his mind. It always did. That was why he practiced endlessly, to take his mind away from reality, if only for a second.

A shifting of sand beside him caused him to turn around on instinct alone, lifting his leg into a backwards roundhouse kick. He only stopped when he heard a surprised yelp from an all too familiar voice.

His eyes snapped open, only to land on…

"Sakura," he muttered, coming back down into a standing position. Sakura stood there, her hands up near her face for protection, but relaxed as soon as Syaoran had both feet firmly planted on the ground.

Syaoran looked away from her. She was the last person he wanted to see right now. He walked back to the swings and sat down, hoping she'd get the hint. Unfortunately, she came to sit next to him.

"You wanna talk about it?"

"No," he replied. Maybe bluntness would work.

"Fine," Sakura replied in a just as blunt tone of voice. Her determination surprised Syaoran completely. He was sure she would pester him like anyone else would, but she just smiled at him. All she wanted was to be there for him....

Syaoran stared, bewildered for a moment, and then smiled back. It was the first genuine smile he had made since the night before.

Everything was quiet for a long while. A sense of nostalgia washed over Sakura as she remembered that Syaoran helped her here not too long ago. She still had that blue handkerchief in her room. It was the most meaningful thing she had ever recieved from anyone.

"My father," Syaoran spoke, breaking Sakura's thoughts. "Was an idiot."

Sakura stared at him, unable to grasp what emotion was coming from him. It was a mixture of many things, but none of them seemed to be love. It was foreign to her; I mean, how could one not love their parents?

"He left my mother with four children to raise on her own. Not only that, he left us because he was caught _cheating_ on my mother."

Sakura flinched at the tone of voice Syaoran was using. There was an immense amount of hatred flowing out of him, but then again, the story was only getting worse.

"He can only be described as an ass," Syaoran muttered.

"I'm not sure I understand," Sakura cut in. "He's dead right?"

Syaoran's eyes darkened, but Sakura could see a tear roll down his cheek.

"He killed himself," Syaoran finally answered. "Because he was too much of a coward to fix his own problems. As a result, my entire family has been torn apart. I'm the only one that seems to have come to terms with the fact that my dad was a 'Grade A' bastard."

Sakura stood up, and walked over to Syaoran, coming to stand in front of him. "It doesn't sound like you're over it."

Syaoran scoffed. This was why he didn't want to talk to Sakura. She could read him like an open book. Something about that was terrifying to him, but at the same time, he knew it was only because they had been friends for years on end. He could do the same to her easily, and had, when she came to him about Yukito's rejection. He knew he shouldn't feel mad at her, but he couldn't help it. What right did she have to say that anyway? He was about to retort, but Sakura continued in her light voice.

"I wish I had a handkerchief to give you," Sakura said, bringing a light smile to Syaoran's face, his anger ebbing away a bit. "But this will have to do instead."

Syaoran was surprised to feel something warm against his body in the next moment. He stiffened, unsure of how to react to something as forward as a hug, but eventually, he relaxed, and did what any sensible human being would do: hug back. And suddenly, he felt content; more content than he had been in a long time. He wondered, just briefly, if he would ever have another friend as determined as Sakura. She wouldn't give up on anything, even healing a wound that he'd had since he was young.

"Thank you," he said. "That works just as well."

Later, as they were walking out of the park, Syaoran couldn't help but think that perhaps he had overlooked something about this day; not just today, but every year. Maybe, things weren't as bad as he first thought, and maybe, he did have people he could depend on. Maybe they didn't have to understand, because, try as they might, they never could, but they could still help. Up until now, his father's story was a taboo on his mind, lingering, eating away at him, but Sakura had made him feel better, on a day that he'd never felt joy.

And that thought alone made Syaoran let out a laugh.

"What? What is it?" Sakura asked.

"I got one good thing from my dad," he exclaimed, coming up with something to cover up his real thoughts.

"Hmm? What's that?" Sakura asked, smiling at his change in mood. It seemed, she was successful.

"My good looks!"

***

**A/N: didn't want to end this drabble on a depressing note. I wrote this for my own father, who passed away 16 years ago, today. He did the same thing as Syaoran's father in this story. Some things are never forgiven, and this is one of them.**

**Suicide isn't something to be taken lightly. If one of your friends is down, give them a hug, because seriously, it helps. I would know.  
**

**Peace out homies. Expect something... better soon.  
**


	2. Author's Note PLEASE READ

**Authors Note:**

**I've been getting a lot of messages about this story, and I just wanted to say something quickly. I am not, in the least, depressed beyond belief right now. I've been dealing with this suicide all my life, I think I have a grasp over my feelings about it most of the time.**

**As for why I wrote this: I was talking with friends, and they were making fun of suicide. Normally, a few jokes don't hurt me, but they were going a bit too far. I know its because they haven't experienced something as powerful as someone taking their own life, but it was still wrong. Coinsidentally, that was the day of the aniversary of my dad's death. With that in mind, I wrote this, not because I felt depressed, but more because I want people to understand something: Suicide is NOT a joke. Its the most hurtful, selfish thing one can do to the people around them.**

**And also, sometimes, just being a friend can help, even if you can't solve their problems.**

**And for those of you that are wondering, yes, I dislike my father, but he also gave me one good thing: respect for my own life (even if it tends to be shitty a lot, at least I see its value).**

**Peace out.**

**--Smiff**

**PS: I revised the One-Shot for those who care. XD  
**


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